Phillip Gear MD

I wanted to share my story with others as it was through the stories of others I received hope during the early stages of my disease.  Further, my family and I were able to realistically look at my illness through another lens and didn’t feel so lonely in the struggle of coping with TM.

My life changed on Halloween, October 31, 2002.  I was a successful fifty year old Pediatrician in Phoenix, Arizona in what I thought was the peak of my career.  I was looking forward to going to Florida the next day to visit my Mom who was fighting ovarian cancer.  I woke up that morning with a tingling sensation in my right hand.  Hoping there were no circumcisions to be done, I made it through rounds that day and by the time I made it to the office I could hardly sign my name.  After a conversation with my physician/friend we agreed I probably had some transient palsy which would disappear after a bust of steroids. That evening both hands were now numb and I was unable to help my kids carry their Halloween bags.

Next morning I woke up with an excruciating pain in the back of my neck.  My hands were still numb but, with the help of my eleven year old, I buttoned my pants and headed for the airport.  When I arrived at the parking lot both legs were stiffening and I realized I was in trouble.  My wife somehow got me into her car and after a full day of tests, blood, spinal tap and MRI, I was given the news I had Transverse Myelitis.  My lesion was C4-C8, high up I was told, and I was admitted to the ICU.  I didn’t recall hearing about that disease in my medical training, but I assumed TM was like Guillan Barre and that I would be practicing medicine again after a two week hiatus.  I maintained that thought or state of denial for three weeks until I realized my only highlight during that time was movement of my right big toe.  

I was given a short course of IV steroids and sent to rehab. I was no longer a doctor, I was a patient.  My therapists jokingly called me Doctor Phil.  I stood up for the first time three months later and began walking with assistance soon after.  Each achievement was a celebration.  Helpful for me was hydrotherapy.  Walking in a warm pool took my weight and balance problem out of the equation.

My fears during recovery were numerous and incessant initially.  How would I earn a living?  Would I be able to walk my girls down the aisle?  On and on until I gave up worrying and started accepting my condition.  TM and I are at peace now for the most part.  There are times when I feel guilty that I may not be able to ski with my children or teach them to swing a golf club, but I don’t dwell on that.  I look for and find gratitude in what I have, though some days are harder than others.  My hands are still spastic.  I continue to have numbness from the shoulders down and can only walk short distances, but I enjoy life as a journey.  I believe through my experience after resetting my priorities I have come out a hopefully better person able to share my story with my friends, patients and family whose ongoing support I will always appreciate.

Phillip Gear MD
Phoenix AZ