Volume 5 Issue 2
Page 40
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Finally, a TM Support Group in Idaho We have a lot in common, you and I. We have shared a lot: experience, knowledge, understanding, compassion. Now that we have these, we can give them away. I'd been told that it would help to talk with someone else who has it. (Who?) I discovered TMA (can't remember how) when I'd had TM for about 2 years. I got in touch, asked what I could do to help. Sandy said, "Start a support group for Idaho." You might know that compared to the rest of the states, nobody lives here! OK, we have more people than Wyoming. In fact, if you combine Idaho and Wyoming you have enough people for a decent size city anywhere else. None the less … Idaho now has a support group! After a number of contacts with Sandy, he told me that I need to start one. He and a few others pointed out that I was teetering on the edge of depression. It helps tremendously to be able to help someone else. I contacted a few TM-ers in ID. (Some of us don't have phones or paved roads. Most have email). It really is remarkable how connected we felt, right away! None of us had ever talked to "another" before. We talked for hours. I feel better. (If you haven't, do it now! Call Anybody!) I thought I should write this on an "up" day. I'm not up today. In fact, this is just one of those days. You and I share that. We don't need to fake it. If you are having a better day today, celebrate! Enjoy every moment. I'm just struggling deep in Round 3. Here's my blow-by-blow. Round 1: May 9, 1999 I was paragliding along the edge of the Snake River Canyon. It is like hang gliding, but the wing is a skinny parachute. It's fabulous. I used to do everything. I was very active. I made three beginner mistakes that day. I landed sitting and broke some bones. The important one was L1, a "burst fracture" that crushed and penetrated my spinal cord. They used glue to seal it! The bones healed, with a bunch of re-bar. The numbness lasted four months. Then the pain started: awful! We finally tried a morphine pump. No pain for three days. We kept increasing the dose until … Round 2: Mary was my favorite nurse, from my first pain clinic. I went to lots. Seven months later I learned that she was single! In the fall we got married. Then funny symptoms started. After three weeks I dropped, paralyzed. The pain stopped! So did everything else. Lying in the dark that first night was awful. We stopped the morphine too quickly, so I had withdrawal too. The doctors knew nothing! Actually, they knew to call Karin, soon to be my neurologist. She knew immediately. TM. Scared? Overwhelmed. Physical therapy was amazing. They told me I could walk. What? Just try it. I am! Then one magic day, Dave said, "You couldn't have done that with your arms." It was working! We tinkered with meds and other trials and made some good progress. I still didn't move much. Then I started calling "my support group." Robin said, "Try Klonopin! I love it!" I got some on Wednesday. I stood up and walked Thursday. Wonderful!!! It helped foot muscles release, dropping another source of pain. I started driving again. See what TMA did for me! Wow! I restarted my YMCA membership, swimming. Until … Round 3: An infection in a testicle (which I couldn't feel) has apparently inflamed the nerves around it. After seven months it's still going downhill. I'm immobilized again by pain. I cancelled my YMCA membership. What can you learn from all this whining? Remember my wife, Mary? She's the director of the hospital pain clinic. She encourages me. We keep talking and trying. My pain doc keeps trying. My neurologist, too. Five MRIs last week: at least it's not MS. There are many ways to treat pain. The hardest thing of all is to gain ground, then lose it again. It hasn't killed me, so I guess I'm getting stronger. I've learned to keep trying. It's hard to hope.
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